Tuesday, August 14, 2012

The Car Crash Between The Funeral and the Wedding

"Hey - what do you think you're doing?"  I said.  Too late, I thought.  Too late, there's not enough time; it's going to happen.

The voice inside said, brace yourself.  The speed gauge is at 40 mph.  No way, he's going to avoid. this.  The shrieking screech.  The crashing sound against metal against metal.  The spin.  The airbags deploy.  My head doesn't hit it.  My body jerks from the reaction against the lap and shoulder belt.  I smell the burning smell of anti-freeze.  I recognize it.  I hear my mother in the back seat say, "Oh my God!"  I felt her body smash against my passenger seat.  That's it.  Against the dusk backdrop, there's scraps of metal and glass.  Two injured bodies here.  Two injured bodies there.  Driver has no injuries.  

I've been in a lot of car accidents.  A few my fault when I was a lot younger, but none of my accidents were serious.  One moderately serious one was my friend's fault, as he rear ended someone on the freeway.  A sleeping girl rear ended me once.  Then there were the Z3 accidents, which were all parking lot fender benders, which happened because people couldn't see my tiny car.  Again, those were very minor.  I knew, in the moment where I knew the accident was unavoidable, this one was going to hurt.

My brother was driving my mother and me to a funeral.  We were paying our respects to our dead ex-neighbor.  She was 60 and allegedly died from cancer.  After we were driving back, I was talking to my brother.  It was sunset.  Somehow, I could tell he hasn't been driving through the 10 freeway.  He didn't realize the points of construction work.  We were only 1/4 of a mile away from the family home, when traffic came to a dead stop because of the construction work. Only 1/4 of a mile away.  He didn't swerve soon enough; he didn't brake soon enough.

My mother's sternum probably fractured.  She wasn't wearing a seat belt.  I was wearing one though.  I asked her, "Why didn't you wear a seat belt?"

Get this for her answer: "I would have worn it, if I knew I was going to get into a car accident."

As backwards as her logic is, I wouldn't laugh.  Don't we think like this all the time.  It's really just a coverup to deny the truth.  I believed my younger son is the safest driver in the world.  Had I known different, I would have acted different.  Well, alcoholics would say had I known I'd get liver cancer, I would have stopped that last drink.  Or how about the person who gets mad not because of the evil s/he's done but the fact that s/he got caught.  Doesn't s/he say the same?  I wouldn't have done it if I got caught.  Well - now we see such logic into play.

What I don't get were all the local neighborhood bystanders that came gawking.  I never saw the great fascination of staring at an accident.  But I suppose if you had very little, (I come from Baldwin Park, remember?) other people's suffering brings you some kind of pleasure.

The ambulance came.  The sheriffs came.  My brother managed the situation well.

In my CK suit, I stepped out into the freeway.  I jumped the border closest to the right hand lane.  I was back on a local street.  I walked home in my CK suit, starting to come loose with a half-undone tie and an open dress shirt.  I went home and changed clothes.  I drove the BMW and hopped back onto the freeway.  I steered passed the accident scene and gave my mother a ride home.  Just 1/4 of a mile away.

I told her, "You know, we're going to feel it really bad tomorrow.  It's going to hurt a lot."

She said, "Really?"

I said, "Watch."

I immediately prepared to heal myself.  I took the elements of the Dead Sea and drew a bath.  I added to it sulfur, salt, and oatmeal.  I need all of these minerals to heal.  I took a bath and saw quickly that my skin was getting bloated by absorbing in all the minerals.  My abdominal, once tight and muscular, looked bloated.  I then felt my body feel very, very tired.  It wanted sleep.

And I was right, the next day was painful for both my mother and me.  She was coughing and complaining of chest pains.  I could feel that I was bleeding inside and bruised and broken.  Later in the day, I could feel the fever coming.  My body was beginning to heal.

On Sunday though, the day after, was my brother's wedding.  I didn't want to go.  We both felt even worse.  The fever escalated.  My stomach was cramping painfully.  My mother came and touched my skin and said, "You're hot."  I grumbled, "I know."  It was expected; I was healing but very tired.  I didn't want to go to this wedding.  But I went, and even there, the guests could see the fever brewing.  I was not in the mood to socialize or say hi.  How could I?  Your mind just concentrates on the cramping, the faintness, and the dizziness. 

But the guests, especially the father's relatives, wanted to say to the recent law graduate in his Hugo Boss suit.  I smiled.  I tried.  But it was still too much.  All the guests were so happy and excited, except for two: the groom's closest blood relatives: mother and brother.

My cat Luke taught me much about the body.  Whenever he didn't feel well, he would bask in the sunlight.  I saw him do it all the time, whenever he had a cold.  So - do what Luke did. 

So, without telling the guests, who would keep mothering me, I went to the pool area.  I stripped to my underwear.  Don't worry, it wasn't a disgusting sight for the guests.  It's probably appropriate with other people wearing bikinis and such.  I kept watching the dirty girls ogle.  I laid in the warm hot sun by the pool and 20 minutes into it, the cramps were alleviating and I was feeling better.  I was probably basking in the warm sun for 2 hours.  I took a quick shower and suited up.

All the guests noticed I was feeling better.  The MC called for me.  It was time to catch the groom's garter.  It's said a single guy who catches it will get married first.  I saw all my brother's competitive friends viciously want it.  My brother took the garter off easily with his teeth from his wife's thigh.  He turned around.  He threw a fake napkin.  On the second round, he threw the garter behind him.

I caught it.

No comments:

Post a Comment